Reviews

Type Title Author/Director/Developer Date Rating
Movie Van Helsing Stephen Sommers 4/3/5 ____

Review

Where do I begin? This is an awful movie. I didn’t think it would be brilliant, but I was hoping Kate Beckinsale could keep it afloat. But it was an embarrassment. The premise could have had some promise—it’s a movie about a monster hunter that features all the classic horror movie monsters. But the problem is that it has some of the worse writing that I’ve ever seen. Instead of being clever or amusing it tries to create a “serious” action film with some of the most annoying dialog I’ve ever seen. Really terrible one liners abound.

To top it off, the monsters themselves look horrible. The so called special effects were nothing special at all and the monsters are so cliche looking and acting that they all appeared comically absurd instead of frightening or even creepy. The vampires actually opened their mouths wide, lifted their heads in the classic pose and hissed. Yes, hissed—with their hands contorted in some sort of claw like posture. I think this might have been intended as some sort of homage but it just didn’t work at all and I ended up just feeling embarrased for the poor people made to act this way.

This movie was truly horrible. I would only see this if you have no taste, want to watch a movie with no plot, inane dialog and pathetic special effects.

Last Modified on: Nov 11, 2013 17:44pm